have been attending my maternal grandmother's wake for the past few days.i am so dead tired.come home in the middle of the night everyday.the wake seems likea pretty happy occasion, with everyone sending her off in her last journey.her onset of death was so sudden so she actually kinda passed away rather painlessly and peacefully.felt really sad at 1st but after spending time with all the relatives, everyone became in a jovial mood, sharing all the gd times we had.i will miss grandma's cooking.esp her buttered prawns n sharkfin soup.without her around, there might not b family gatherings anymore since the family is so big.but i felt tt the during the wake period, everyone somehow got closer n any enmities were brushed aside easily.ppl who quarrelled in the past juz started talking to each other like gd frens n i spent more time talking to my cousins n getting to noe wads been gg on in each other's life.i guess tis is the irony of the whole event.

i seem to get along with kids v well.aha.really love them.the little girl above is my cousin's daughter.she's so shy.its so hard to get her to talk.haha.bt she opened up to us when she showed us her drawings.so sweet.i guess she has her dad's genes coz he is a artist for the local newspapers.n the little dude with the sweet dimples is marcus, my fav cousin.=))) but he's a devil in n angels disguise.haha.haitun will noe all about it.lol.i still love him loads la.so tiring to play with him.bouncing ard here n there.his 5 year old brain cant really get the concept of funeral, wake n death.he thinks its so fun.kp laughing n joking.thanks.he flew back frm shanghai so his cheeks r so rosy frm the cold weather there.so cute!=) n he speaks in american accented eng plus shanghainese chinese.super bilingual.love to hear him speak.will miss hm loads tmr.
=( bt he noes hw to use msn to chat rubbish.haha.smart kid.

congratulations cheryl!

omg.i din noe abt this until avril told me.i guess im really very lag..congratulations cheryl on ur 6 distinctions!=) u go girl.i'm sure u will be a great vet since u were alwaz so gd with animals.lol.i remember chewy.haha. im darn tired nw.gonna blog another day.yawns.nites...

laila ali

laila "she bee stingin" ali.tts her nickname. coz her punches stings like a bee.
lol.i am nt an idol worshipper.but i guess i really admire laila ali.for her skills, attitude n character.=) she's the undefeated women's middleweight champ of the world.shes so toned and fit.damn zai. runs her own nail salon business too.if only i can be somewhere close to what she is.tt wld be omg so friggin cool man.aha.but i am not.lol.she will juz be my role model n motivation to put in my best in everythin.n wadeva the outcome,the best is enough for me.=)

luncheon at billy bombers

chocolate eggs from mingy to me! whee.haha.=) thanks alot.i will remember wad u said. century eggs for encouragement n motivation.haha.

had lunch at billy bombers with mingy and bee tan today at TM.they went back mj earlier on in the morning to collect some stuff.i love the grasshopper drink.=) food isnt nice though.minmin came and join us much later.i had to leave earlier...sorry girls.=( enjoyed our bitching session though.haha.man.i sure hope karma isnt true...

ijustwannascreammylungsout...

its been a tough few weeks.but i guess it will be a long road ahead.im on my own now.hiaz.Been feeling kinda down n really lonely n apprehensive whenever im thinking of wad happens next.wanna meet up with my girls soon.miss u all real bad.=( i guess things hasnt been gg good for most of us.welcome to the singles club.we're all single n ready to mingle nw.=)
need to meet up with the mj girls too.we've been all to busy to meet together, always meeting in bits and pieces.hmm.really hope we dont drift apart.=( im so freakin paranoid la.ignore me.
i know God will give me the strength and courage to be the best i can be...

lunch at peach garden restaurant @ thomson plaza

we had lunch at peach garden restaurant with my dad's ex colleagues today. usually, as u all know, Ale hates chinese food, esp dim sum etc.haha.but 2day was an exception,almost everythin tasted wonderful.maybe coz i was like super hungry la.had siewmai,ha gao and the likes, egg tarts,yam pie,n this fried crepe with gorengpisang n prawns 2gether.a winning combination.=p
all those for starters.still had duck meat, duck skin, buttered prawns, centuryegg porridge, chicken and veggies.act, i only like the starters la..i wanna go back again nxt time though.2 eat with friends tt is.=))) who noes where else got peach garden rest? damn.i seem to be blogging abt food all the time.hope im not obsessed..

standingrightontopoftheworld

went for boxing trg instead of gg coaching.yes.haha.=) p.s im not irresponsible.im juz damn pissed.felt so damn paiseh today.coach played a mean joke on me ok.i cant believe i fell for it.Man..am i tt gullible? or its juz plain stupidity.i tend 2 alwaz get "tricked" by ppl.wadeva u say, i will tend to buy ur story.unless i findout its total crap or u r sum loser who like 2 talk rubbish n say stuff tts nt accurate n i happend 2 find out one time too many.-_-

anw, this is how he tricked me.when i went 2 the gym 2day, coach suddenly look at me and say "Who are you ah? are u new here?".then.i felt quite weird.coz i thought he looked like coach.so maybe i recognized the wrong guy.cldnt rly rmb.then he said:"u train under coach bala isit? hes currently in msia.im his brother.i will take over him for 2day." and so.tts when i started believing all his bullcrap.then he asked how i find coach bala.so thank god i didnt say anything bad abt him.n for a whole ten mins, everyone put up a v gd job in fooling me.i totally bought the story.theres this senior who even said to me"coach's brother look alot like him rite? coz they are twins."and he kept his face so straight,i totally din suspect anythin.until when i told Kas who juz came in, she said no la, wad nonsense, he bluff u only.aiyo thanks.then everyone started laughing n laughhing.oh wad the heck.i cant believe im so dumb la.felt so paiseh.really wanted 2 dig a whole to hide.n throughout the whole trg, they kept joking abt it.thanks.i swear never to fall 4 dumb jokes like this again..

on a more serious note, 2day was really a great day for me.becoz of wad coach said 2 me at the end of trg.He asked me to never ever give up halfway because he saw tt i have alot of potential n talent to go competitive.it mite seem like nth much la.bt it really means alot 2 me becoz hes v frank in the sense tt if u're gd,or bad he will juz tell u straight.nt like the previous coach who juz praises.u feel gd when someone believes in u.haha.im feeling on top of the world rite now.=))) gdnite.

aintgonnafeelbadnomore

haha.i guess my posts r always v random.my mood swings like a pendulum most of da time.
felt quite down the past 2 days,but..ive gotten over it.=) i bounce back easily.or so i think.mmm.
i alwaz feel heaps better after talking to u, even if its a short while.ill juz die without u la.haha.u noe me best.anw, we muz really keep to wad we mentioned juz now okay? make it or break it.dang.ive decided what i want.

getting damn pissed with 1 of my swimming students.its nt my fault tt my period comes today.u complain tt the progress is slow.but its nt really my fault becoz ur friends happen to fucking break a finger, catch a cold, work overtime, go overseas the past few lessons, hence causing the postponing.argh. ive decided to juz quit since ill hafta do it sooner or later.will be studying soon anw.felt so great after quitting.n sum poor fella hafta clean up my act.haha.idiots.stupid company.its exploitation.getting paid so little per hour.i give up.i seriously have other better things to do..

happy53rdbirthdaydad

today will mark dad's 53rd birthday.though u cant celebrate with us physically but im sure u are able to join us in spirit.., i know u will always be there for us and guide us when we need u. Just like the lighted candle, u will alwaz be the beacon of light and hope in my heart.thanks for being such a great father, alwaz supporting and believing in me.will never stop loving u till the end of time.

wicked indulgence!

came back frm trg n was welcomed by this! was really touched by mum.she nv fails to make my day.=) sweet sweet strawberries do go with this chocolate dip called "wicked".It is really wicked coz it make u addicted.haha.but fret not, the whole-package is organic.which means its supposed to b healthy! ok.maybe the dip wasnt exactly v healthy,but totally pure indulgence.<3 <3 <3 im kinda in love with any strawberrie-related products now.lol.mum bought all these organic nice stuff at vivocity mart.=))) she can spend hours shopping on such stuff.thanks..but still, bought and made with love.haha.

after nus open hse, we decided to go town.whee.haha.joycey needed to do some stuff. and we were pretty hungry anw. and in the end,we went to take neoprints.yes.it has been such a longggggg time since we laz did that.i wondered what inspired that random thought.

picture on top of ting and ale piggying on breadpapa's creampuffs.(courtesy of joycey). we are like so unglam.to think that we had tacho pachis just before that.i guess we were too hungry.=) gotta stop such cravings in future.argh..

NUS OpEN HOuSE =)

went to the NUS open house today.although its the 2nd day, its still pretty crowded. i was early there so went to take a look at aunty siew ngoh's office at FASS after lunch at tis jap rest there. walked around with mingy first becoz i din noe joycey n ting were cmg so soon.like how most feel, i was overwhelmed by the vibrancy there.its really nice to have spriteful ppl coming to talk to u almost at every turn.the culture there is really great and full of energy.the halls were all very attractive and v full of camaraderie.uni experience is really i whole new idea as compared to jc life.

ming and i were stuck at 1st, kept getting pulled in by the various hall reps.sheares hall seem the coolest though.and we kept writing our names and gg to this booth and that, not knowing how to say "no,im nt really interested."after awhile, i got the hang of it.haha.but i muz say we the souvenirs they give are really not bad.i got frm notepads to planner to sample perfume,shampoo,metal keychain of a boy n gurl..etc.and believe it or not,SPF 50 sunblock! lol. sunblock will come in handy though.=)

met joyce n ting after at the exhibition halls after tt.we kept missing each other down at the 1st level..=( oh.i cant believe its such a small world! Joyce's friend,Elton was my sec sch chi tuition mate.didnt really talk to him last time.he looked exactly the same.haha. bumped into chunshu at the fass booth as well.apparently she bumped into leeting n joyce nt too long ago.so many familiar faces..

euphoric =)

mensa agm nxt sun.have decide to run for committee.of coz juz sum small post.only bigshots get the president,v president etc.so zunzin,u can dream on man.but.we mite not even get the lowest of posts,haha.the comm so small.decided 2 juz try 4 fun.no harm anw.plus thre will b nice free brunch at agm.tts y i will agree to in the 1st place..=p kidding.

went for boxing 2day at fp..the facilitie here is better than at kallang.saw tennis trainings there.how nostalgic.lol.saw sum familiar faces..lol.
coach here was really nice.i feel happy that because theres lesser ppl here,thres more attention paid to everyone.i dont really know if i can make the commitment 2 train 3 times a wk.hafta depend on other factors.=x training was exhausting but enjoyable.only thing tt sucked was shadow boxing in the dark.pitch dark nite outside the gym.this indian guy trg with me kept bumping into me tt i had to dodge repeatedly.bt i dun blame him la.it was so dark i cant really see too.i see no point in trging in this.the coach say its nt enuf juz to see bt feel as well.bt since u cant see,theres nth much to feel.lol.my new trg mates r mark,Raye,Kas n Din.kas the only girl other than me.yes.a girl at last.training is really no nonsense.if u make a mistake,u will get scolded..hiaz.i only like praises.dont like to b scolded.but its part of the process.at least u learn.what i muz rmb, nv forget to protect my face.=(

oh.n i was really glad tt the toilet at farrerpark is no longer unisexual.proxy 2 yrs ago, i went 2 farrerpark 4 tennis, came out of the changing cubicle n sawa guy abt our age shaving infront of the mirror.horrors of horrors..i thought i went into the wrong toilet.but thank heavens no.once in secondary school was enough.damn f**k that was.will nt elaborate further.=( waited for Kas to shower b4 leaving her.it was so quiet so i thught it mite b unsafe if she showers alone.
sorry darling i met u a LIL late.heh.still,supper is supper.=) novena square freaking pathetic.no night life.haha.we tried ichiban to tcc to spinelli and were replied by 'sorry we are closed". -_-"'
in the end,kfc.wadeva la.im freakin hungry anw.nuah-ed around for awhile outside the place b4 heading home.sorry again tt i cant go wif ya to mc cafe for dessert coz i din tell my mum im gonna stay out.plus i stink frm trg la.n i left my shirt behind.damn.im getting kinda blur these days...God knows why.

im getting kinda tired now. i hate to admit it,i miss u. .do u even care.ok.u r nt obligated to.anw..dang.why am i missing u..i shdnt be.

8 march 2007

had lunch wif my mum n aunty 2day.my aunt flew back to spore in the midnite juz to double check tt nth serious is about her pancreas.it turned out to b juz an infection.phew.anw,spore doctors are the best n i guess being a sporean,u only trust ur own healthcare system...

today was supposed to be dinner with the mj girls.but some cant make it.but it wasnt supposed to be cancelled.guess there was sum misunderstandin cum miscommunication which caused val c nt to meet us.dang..=( i wonder when we can meet again.n so its rendezvous with my bee again.how boring.=p she wanted to watch this dumb thriller called primeval or stmg to tt effect.n 4 sum reason,the movie juz totally didnt appeal to me.grrrhh..but i obligated in the end.haha.

dinner regrettably was at long johns since we had like juz half an hr to eat.tun got served raw fish twice.see la, tell u dont eat at disgusting fastfood places like longjohns u nv heed my advice?haha.argh.horrible.we had to go back n complain etc.n their attitude sux.total turn off.this seriously intensifies my dislike for long johns.dang.

Primeval was boring at 1st.but after awhile, the plot thickens n it gets more exciting la.im nt like tun who is so sadistic.haha.the crocs MUNCHING up humans is juz totally gross n gory.bt nt to the extent as apocalypto..*shudders.the very thought still bring chills down my spine..Primeval doesnt hav much of a storyline i guess.the attempt to merge politics 2gether wif the whole monster croc package was a failed one.n several times thru the movie,u keep wondering y the journalist team is so goddamn stupid n yet wonder y they r equally lucky when dodging bullets..n it was kinda predictable right frm the start.i knew who will die n who will live.oh.n the damn creature still didnt die after one entire round of hunting for it.argh.im nv goin ta watch movies abt creatures ever again...>_<

delicious!

the chocolates above r really die die must try! =) abosolutely heavenly n sinful.preserved real strawberries covered with white belgian choc tt melts in ur mouth literally.since when hav i become a sweet tooth.anw,its really cheap too.3.90 for a pack frm marks n spencers.so pls go n try it if u pass by.n buy a pack for me too.=p kiddin...

standinginbetweenthecrossroads

should i accept this opp,or dont.
much as i want to decline,
i do not know if it will b a right decision.
i do not want to depend on ppls help.
it will all but create complications.
i am indeed in a dilemma.
caught btw a hardrock n two places.
y isit so hard to make choices.
its hard to compromise.screw this.
i wonder if i will hav the strength n grit to do this.

risendiednlivedagain

honestly din expect this frm chonglee.a pic of the girls n guys team wif dr rahman n ms suey during A division tournament tis yr.really touched when i gt a msg 2 meet her b4 the collecting of results.will nv forget what she's done for the team,gel-ling the team 2gether during matches n even trying so hard 2 make the team stay in contact even after all the competitions n stuff were over.ur dedication n friendship nv fail to faze me.a pity we didnt live up to standards despite her efforts...

anw,the darn-ded results day is over.been there,done that,gt over it.wtf.as expected.i didnt do too well.enough to qualify for uni bt with obviously dismal grades n definitely nt able 2 apply to the courses im interested in.fri was horrible.rollercoaster of emotions,n billions of thoughts bombarding my head regarding wad next. felt the immediate impulse 2 leave sch straight after everythin.sorry mingy didnt wait 4 u.aferall u came at 4 if im nt mistaken. fri was one helluva night.=( damn right it is. thanks to those who help me make tt night less miserable n on the contrary enjoyable.love u guys lots.always have.n always will.

congrats to all my friends who did well.u guys deserve it.=) esp my mj besties.wonderful times we had together.we r all moving on to a nxt phase in our lives.for ppl who didnt do as well, life goes on.setbacks make u stronger n tougher.juz strive hard towards our goal ok whichever it may be. i felt so fucked up after getting results n i thought tt relatives who r so keen 2 find out hw i did will juz scorn me n stuff.but heck.im wrong.i guess they do care about me after all. everyone was v nice n understanding offering practical advice.2 of whom teaching in the unis hav offered 2 help in applications n admissions as well.i do feel bloody inferior among my family on my dads side being the only non-rafflesian.n it sucks.wad with all the competitive n results-sch-education orientated adults.but my mum told me if i myself hav the selfconfidence n not look down on myself, no one else will or can.i will prove to them n myself tt i will do it n succeed in getting wad i want...

so...after much contemplation, ive decided 2 go ahead n retake the alevels examination once more since i will most likely nt get into the course i want.i see no point in taking smtg im nt interested in though ppl kp saying its juz a first degree.i intend 2 do sports science n medicine or other health science discipline so i shall juz work towards tt goal.signed up for a private college today.hope everything goes on fine n tt the teachers n system there is gd.although ill be going alone,i dun really care.dun intend to socialize much anyway. had a good talk with mr naresh today.=) juz msged him n he called immediately.hes one of the teachers tt really cares alot 4 students.disappointed in some others..mr naresh advised me on hw to go abt studying econs again.project alohas,drqs etc n oso said i can go find him back at mj to get feedback on essays n stuff.really glad to hav such a gd teacher.

feelinglikethebottomlesspit

it gets so lonely at night...:( i juz cant get the bad thoughts and sad thoughts out of my head much as i want to.fuck.n ive been clamming myself up at home for the past week or more.

sCRaPboOkinG for dad

ok.ive laid out all my scrapbooking materials tt i bought n gathered on my bed.but...i hav no motivation to do it.=x thres this pro scrapbking shop at PS called madewithlove tt has lots of v cool stuff.n the scrapbks they make r like so gorgeous.but the price they charge 4 their pdts r exorbitant.totally a rip off.all i cld afford was paper.-_- i guess i will juz kp mine v simple.my creative juices hav ran out.n all i did was the front cover of the book.

results gonna be out tis fri in the aftn.comfirm plus chop alrdy.so yea.ill hafta face the verdict. everyone's pretty hyped up over the DAY.same for me.or maybe worse.i noe myself pretty well.argh.shall not dwell on it.dang.=((((((((

MiNgY =)

finally got to see mingy after so long.haha.didnt intend to meet.juz so happened we both wanted to go to the healthsciences exibition thingy at suntec.yinhong left the moment i came.=x i guess the nxt time we all meet is when collecting the darn results on fri.hiaz.cant help but to think of it 24/7.almost la.dang.anw, healthsciences is really a promising course to take.juz tt we both dun like the idea of studying at nyp for 3 yrs 1st.rather study in aust to get the degree.its a pity NUS will only start offering it in 2009.=(

updatesss

coached 4 ladies at clementi swimming complex today.they totally cant swim so gotta start frm the basics.one was so scared tt she kept clinging to the pool edge.i tink its juz a psychological barrier la.i believe everyone can learn to swim no matter wad.=) its nice to be encouraging n teaching ppl.nd 2 hav alot of patience though.all in all,i din screwup.phew.no freak accidents wadsoever. on the downside, xavier had 2 be there.its juz my bad luck.i din even noe he will be there.i dun like the way he does things.really irritating.n pls.i dun nd sumone 2 send me home.its only 9plus pm.n stop talking so big.

had dinner at one fullerton at palmbeach seafood.supposed to be reunion dinner for all my mums's sisters n their families.luckily it wasnt raining since we were sitting out in the open.=x thres no toilet in the restaurant.nearest one was at Flo bar.so ridiculous la.had 2 bring my old grandma into a pub.so embarassing.thanks...glad tt my mum had a great time with her sisters.=) n great food too.starbucks offered free mini cups of caramel frappachino.my favourite.=)) my lucky day.

Chinese new year !

ohno.its gonna erupt.haha.

ALE-phants.=)

the room we slept in.slept on the hard floor in slping bags.=x

the 2 lane bowling alley...i got a strike ok!

looking at the tennis ball tt went to outerspace...

since cant go visiting.we stayed over at savannah park instead.played tennis,swam,bowl play board games n dumb card games with my cousins.though i dint hav the mood 2 do such stuff at 1st, i guess it was better in the end 2 occupy myself with smtg.at least its better then visiting...

chinese new year eve =)

Reunion dinner at my uncle's house was simple fare of steamboat n teppanyaki but nonetheless satisfying due to the company of family.=) the goldfish thingy above is actually "ha-gao" or wadeva they call it.n the cute stars r actually fishcakes with seaweed for eyes.thanks.the novelty of it all. made everyone so amused.surprisingly, they tasted as gd as they look.=)

My closest cousin, Eugene and I. We were so bored of tryin ta finish up the remnants of the steamboat stuff.He tried many futile attempts to teach me how to play "three doors down" on guitar.haha.guess im so totally not musically-inclined.=( Everyone in my Dad's side knows how to play at least the piano plus another instrument.damn.n they all start on the electric guitars with sound boosters in tow after dinner.its a wonder neighbors didnt complain...

updating...

ok.as promised 2 myself,i will update my blog.there's so much tt has happened tt i juz din feel like talking n stuff.everything's so sudden.so yea.sorry to all my close friends cause i didnt let u all noe tt my Dad passed away...i juz wanted 2 be alone during the grieving period.still,some ppl found out of their own accord n came.bt im nt angry la.in fact the contrary.haha.But anw, I've sorted out my feelings n gotten over it somewhat.life goes on no matter wad.lots of stuff to settle still.thru this time,ive learnt stuff abt the family n esp dad tt i nv knew b4 or more like was ignorant abt la.ironically,its times like this tt the family can become closer n more bonded.

Dad's in heaven and safely in God's arms now.He has fought the good fight,ran the gd race n kept the gd faith n im happy tt he's w/o suffering anymore.Really appreciate wad Pastor See n Mrs See has done for Dad n us.and thanks to relatives,NP colleagues n friends for all their support n help.its in times like this tt u know who really truly cares for u.so i tell myself to treasure these ppl n nt let them down.

its great tt we have many wonderful memories of Dad to cherish.but even better 2 noe tt he was a great man.His colleagues said although hes gone,he's left behind a legacy they will nv forget.They noe him as a kind superior who will take them out for lunches.Army friends know him as the camp commandant who will carry the weaker guys.Friends turn 2 him for any problems whatsover.As for the cultural society tt he joined despite my extreme displeasure, he will alwaz b remembered as a gd leader 2 his grp,motivating n inspiring them despite his sickness. Actually, i felt tt he spent so much time maintaining his social network circle outside. He cld have spent more time with us.=( But i noe he loves us alot la.i have alrdy forgave him despite being damn angry at first.He did try his best in communicating with us n stuff n i guess tts all tt matters now.

23 Feb 07

have not updated this blog for ages.....=(

so much stuff has happened.gonna pdate it soon....